2019 was the year of some of the biggest and best movies, from The Irishman to Avengers: Endgame, to Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, to Booksmart, to Marriage Story, the list is quite literally endless.
However, not every movie is a hit, with there being an even longer list of movies that flopped this year. We’re going to be counting down our list of the Top 10 Biggest Acting Fails Of 2019 You Won’t Believe.
Bryan Cranston – The Upside
It is a remake of the 2011 French smash-hit, The Intouchables, which everyone loved, and of course, Hollywood loves to capitalize on other people’s success, so they introduced us to an English language version, and it was utter trash.
The movie itself is about a wealthy quadriplegic played by Bryan Cranston, who requires a caretaker to help him with his day-to-day routine. So, he hires Dell, playing by Kevin Hart.
Unlike the French version, this remake is completely shallow, manipulative, and for 2hrs is demanding all of your feelings by force. Bryan Cranston couldn’t even save this movie, and I’m thinking he has major regrets around about now.
Sylvester Stallone – Rambo: Last Blood
Rambo is always a fun time, no matter how old Sylvester Stallone gets, however, I think we have finally reached the final stretch with Rambo: Last Blood, which shows off how ungracefully he has aged.
It’s hard to keep a franchise going when the first movie was about the onetime symbol of post-Vietnam resentment. This is now non-existent. The movie is tedious and oddly sadistic, and of course with any Stallone movie, for the most part it’s mumbled dialogue.
This movie is truly bloodthirsty, with one scene showing our hero torturing, impaling, decapitating a whole load of dudes. The film was unnecessary carnage, and it’s getting about time for Stallone to hang up his knives and hat.
Hilary Duff – The Haunting of Sharon Tate
Our favorite Disney Channel star, Lizzie McGuire if you will. She returned out of the ashes to star in what I guess was supposed to be a great horror movie about Sharon Tate and the Manson Family, of course capitalizing off of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, however, it didn’t work out too well for the former Disney star.
It of course centers on the murder of Sharon Tate, however, it descends into something more along the lines of a Supernatural horror movie, with Charles Manson clad in denim and looking more like the Babadook than a man.
However, like Tarantino’s film, The Haunting of Sharon Tate is an alternate-history version of the murders, and lingers in the supernatural, with the victims being tortured and murdered multiple times throughout the movie, in turn presenting us with something truly disrespectful. These were real people, real victims, and we’re shown something truly sadistic, gratuitous and completely tasteless.
Stanley Tucci – The Silence
“The Silence” is not just one of the worst movies of the year, but one of the worst movies of the decade, and that’s saying a lot. The film centers on the world under attack from terrifying creatures who hunt their human prey by sound.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, dollar store Quiet Place. Come for me, I dare you! Now, it’s surprising this movie failed considering it had stars such as Stanley Tucci, Kiernan Shipka and Miranda Otto.
However, none of them could save it, if anything, each and every one of them is terrible. Sorry, not sorry. Not to mention the movie lacks any real suspense and is not scary in the slightest. It also lacks character development, ambiance, and originality, considering it stole its story from John Krasinski.
Melissa McCarthy – The Kitchen
A movie called The Kitchen, starring Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish, and Elisabeth Moss, about the wives of New York Gangsters in Hell’s Kitchen in the 70s. You have to be kidding me. Now, it could have potentially been a fresh take on the mob drama, however, it came out undercooked.
The writing is poor and cringe, and the actors clearly have no chemistry.
A misfire happened at some point, and I don’t think it was the source material, I think
it was casting Melissa McCarthy as the lead in action, mob drama.
Matthew McConaughey – Serenity
You’ve probably heard of Serenity, but probably have no idea when it was released, who it stars, and what it’s about. Well, the movie was of course released in 2019 and starred Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, and Diane Lane.
Well, sadly, as you would expect, the movie was hot trash, not even hot trash, cold, stale the trash you left out overnight. It centers on a fishing boat captain who juggles facing his mysterious past and finding himself ensnared in reality when nothing is what it seems.
Even the plot makes absolutely no sense. The only reason to watch the movie is for the huge twist at the end, which is also as cold as the left out the trash.
It is a film about murder, seduction, more murder, and then sprinkle in some sci-fi surprise. Yeah, the movie is all over the place and was a waste of mine and Matthew McConaughey’s time.
Sophie Turner – X-Men: Dark Phoenix
For most of us, we were excited for Dark Phoenix. At least I was. I love X-Men, all of them, even the bad ones, except…for this one. It was set up to be great, Sophie Turner and Jessica Chastain, what more could you want? Well, literally anything, and you realize that pretty early on.
Not only were their multiple release delays, trailers were remade, test audiences walked out, then they gave away the death of Raven in the trailer in an effort to entice people, but not even that worked.
There were just too many red flags confirming that the film was going to be a flop, and a flop it was. All in all, it was boring and anticlimactic and you should definitely give it a miss.
Will Smith – Gemini Man
Starring two Will Smith’s this film follows an over-the-hill hitman who faces off against a younger clone version of himself. Directed by Ang Lee, Gemini Man has been one of Hollywood’s longest-running in-development movies for two decades.
Which is absolutely crazy, especially when you consider the fact that it’s sh***. The movie, of course, makes the most of our new de-aging technology, however, not even the effects can save this movie, let alone Will Smith who could put his name on a tub of peanut butter and make it a hit, but not today.
To quote Asher Luberto from LA Weekly:
“Gemini Man aspire to be deeper than your average action flick with an obvious Freudian message about how our worst enemy is ourselves…what it all amounts to, however, is a throwaway genre exercise disguised as a technological experiment.”
Nicole Kidman – The Goldfinch
She appeared in a movie this year that was far from her usual S Tier work, The Goldfinch, a movie which follows Theodore Decker, who is taken in by a wealthy Upper East Side family after his mother is tragically killed in a bombing at the MOMA.
The movie is of course based on Donna Tartt’s hefty 2013 bestselling novel, however, the pages of the plot are nowhere to be found in his shapeless movie, which is 2 and a half hours of snooze-fest.
It’s hard to say much more about a movie that was so boring I barely remember it. All I know is, Nicole Kidman should have known better, and I’m sad, very sad that she starred in this trainwreck.
John Travolta – The Fanatic
We stepped out of 2018 thinking to ourselves that nothing could possibly be as bad as John Travolta’s movie, Gotti, but boy was we wrong. One year later, we’re in Los Angeles with an inept stalker called Moose, played by Travolta.
Moose is a stunted walk-of-fame performer who is obsessed with a B-list actor and begins skulking around his Beverly Hills home. Moose has an unspecified disability that exists somewhere between offensive and embarrassing, but mostly painful to watch.
The film is utter trash, and is, I think, supposed to be some kind of deep movie about the pitfalls of celebrity, but alas, that is not what we got. Instead, we’re cringing, not laughing, never laughing, because you can’t laugh while you’re in physical pain, feeling like you’re watching something that was never supposed to be seen…by anyone.